the inevitable has come
March 7, 2008only two people would understand this entry. but im posting it anyway. i had to let it out.
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no more drinking. no more sleepless nights. no more crying under the sheets while listening to Regina Spektor’s Samson on repeat. no more staring at nowhere during long cab drives. no more too much overtime at work to keep my mind busy.
my life was turned upside down, over and beyond for the past three weeks. it was one hell of a rollercoaster ride…i knew that that one decision i made during that time would change everything. i knew that i had to hold on tight as the rollercoaster zooms through the highs and lows. it was the happiest ive felt in years, stuck in a commitment that ive gotten used to. a commitment that is synonymous to a routine, something you do everyday that whatever excitement it has in the past seemed to have faded along with the years that has gone by. the rollercoaster ride made me realize two things…
first, i can be happier if i allow it.
second, love is never enough.
they lied when they said that love makes the world go round.
im in a moment right now where im honestly hard up on focusing my mind because im suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. my brain is nowhere to be found…and my heart has full control of me…
honest to god, im scared. i want to hold on to that flicker of hope, but what if that hope changed its mind and decided to fade away as well?
ive put my heart on my sleeve shamelessly. ive believed on promises i knew won’t be kept. i hoped…god that’s the worst part…ive hoped…
i knew everything was to good to be true…
all good things must come to an end…
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