blah blah blah
April 22, 2007i have a terrible hang-over. i came to work 4 hours late. im now waiting painfully for 4:30 to arrive so i can rush home and lay comatose in bed. i hate working on weekends. i especially hate hang-overs on weekends. blah blah blah. bummer.
im aliveeeeeeeeee
April 17, 2007yey belated happy birthday to me! turned 24 last saturday (the 14th) and gaahh…i feel old.
nway been neglecting my blogging duties for a few weeks now. i don't have an excuse, except that i did finish a mile- long post yesterday which i scrapped because well, it was tooo lengthy and it was just a long story of how my past weeks have been. so yeah, i deleted it and since im finally posting something today i decided to put up a quick list on how my past weeks have been.
:~: spent holy week with my Be's family. and sorry for me, nope we dint go down to manila or pampanga, the family came up here in baguio. because we had to work. yes, i had to go to work from holy monday to good friday. its a pathetic life i have.
:~: had a simple birthday celeb. no wild parties. no drinking sprees. yeah because ive become lame like that. nah not really. the initial plan was for us to go down to my lola's place in La Union and go swimming. just me and my Be. but with all the hulabaloo at the office (with my coach being forced to resign and one of my close friends at the office decide to get a life and resign as well) and all that family gatherings because of holy week, i decided that i wanna stay home and just get a decent shut-eye.so i just cooked almost 2 kilos of my Tuna Baked Mac which we packed and gave away to friends, office mates and family. went to my mom's place with the same said mac, what's left of the fish fillet i made the night before and a huge tub of ice cream complete with marshmallows and colorful sprinklers. went home early. slept early. attended an airsoft game the next day and got a red pelt on my left hand due to playing without gloves. since i still feel tired (like pregnant tired…as if i know how that feels), left the gamesite by 5PM. went home and watched Survivor FIJI. went back to town to buy a DVD and Yellow Cab Pizza. was asleep again by 1AM. my Be had to go to work the next day while im left home the whole day to lounge around and be depressed. im not feeling my 24th birthday. ugh. must be the weather.
:~: im ready to give up trying to be happy in this company. last night, i updated and polished my resume and emailed it to 2 other companies both located here in baguio. im crossing my fingers that i get a positive reply soon as possible. before i completely lose my sanity.
:~: oh, oh i remember something that really made my day last saturday. when i arrived home last saturday (which was of course, my birthday) , i was greeted by my Be (who was supposed to be at work) singing a happy birthday like a retard still wearing his pantulog shorts and his hair shooting up in all directions. it was a funny sight. he was so cute with his bagong gising look and swaying side to side while singing me my birthday song. loovvvee…
oh well…obviously, im really bored. im still here at the office checking my email every 10 seconds in hope that i get a reply on those companies i applied for last night. il just gather my happy spirit together in maybe post something sunshinier tomorrow. ciao!
summer’s on!
April 2, 2007weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
im over with that 3-D-Syndrome i wrote about on my last post. im sooo over it. ive let it out so its time to move on.
summer's on!
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like i said on my last post, this is my month…MY MONTH!
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yeah ive changed my lay-out. i don' t wanna overdo it with the yellow-theme-thing-its-summer-theme so i just settled for something simple. just a change. a cute, little change to take my mind away from the reality that is work. like it?
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i actually decided to write this post with no definite topic. just stuff here and there.
first up, watched Bridge to Terabithia last saturday with my Be. if you love Finding Neverland, you'll dig this one. my Be slept halfway through the movie (cuz its not his thing) while me, i got sucked into the movie. the ending was great (for me, it is). it may have a tragic ending (spoiler alert!) but it came through. its the type of tragic ending of a movie where you don't feel robbed of a deserving ending. its heart-warming.
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next stop, American Idol. and yes, il talk about Sanjaya. i love him. he may not be an amazing singer but i love him. and seems like lately, he's become the Idol that everyone's having a love/hate relatioship with. he's wicked. eccentric and totally himself. basta, i love him. period.
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last up, Amazing Race All Stars. its not a secret that im a big fan. one of my goals is to be able to atleast try joining Amazing Race Asia (will try to send an application for Season 3). not much to say bout it cuz its better to catch an episode of it (9PM every Monday at AXN) except that its really one ofmy favorite shows and im still heartbroken because i haven't completed collecting DVD's for all of its previous seasons (im working on it!).
like i said before, i usually pick my favorite teams halfway into the season. and the winners are:
The Beauty Queens: Dustine and Candice
The Other Beauty Queens: Oswald and Danny.
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nway, our company will be holding its annual sportsfest and they're finally including Airsoft as one of the events! yey! will most definitely join. it would surely feel good to land some BB's (pellets) on one of my supervisors' faces! lolz.
the dreaded 3 D’s
April 1, 2007its April! my month! my birthday's in 2 weeks…gah another reason not to act like a 7 year old.
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dint go to work for 4 days. was sick again. i guess that whole diet thing has weakend my immune system so im taking precautions this time (read: vitamins). but underneath the on/off fever, nausea and migraine i know the real reasons for feeling like crap: im am DEPRESSED, DEMOTIVATED and DEAD-TIRED.
Depressed. im having this phase again. a feeling that my life faced a dead end. i try to envision my future and all i see is me married, with a kid and still enslaved in some office prison that is slowly eating up my spirit. that, or me managing a modest business that is definiely light years away from the Zobels or Sy's who also manage their own businesses and get to live on top of the world. i remember when i used to see myself as a succesfull carreer woman whose on top of her game. someone who does not have time to be depressed because work is too much fun to feel depressed. im not ranting, im just saying. or better yet, im trying to wake up my old self whose been on a very long slumber. i don't blame anybody on why ive become like this. there may be people and instances that has driven me to my current condition but im not an ignorant 6 year old. i should have snagged the wheel and drove through life on my own. i think il finish my driving lessons. i want to drive through life again, with me on the wheel.
Demotivated. you know the feeling when you try so hard, so fuckin hard that it breaks your heart to see all you've worked for shunned away because still, its not good enough? or you suddenly feel that things are becoming sunshinier because hey, the clouds has finally parted but after a few seconds a looming storm suddenly steals your sunshine? or when you finally get to enjoy something you loathe doing because somebody has finally motvated you in amazing ways but in the end, that somebody was snatched away because damn, you seem to be enjoying too much? bottomline is in this world, there are definitely a few good men left. hateful power trippers…
Dead-tired. im sick of all these. i want to work and feel like ive come to work and be useful and not come to work and feel like im a freakin' african slave driven to endless suffering because some first world country thinks that they're too great to lift a finger so we slaves must cover up their asses. but i don't want to go on and on telling the world howi hate my job cuz yeah it pays well and yeah there are millions of others who are still clamoring to have a decent paying job. so il stop now. bu want the workd to know that im dead-tired. when i die, i wanna be reincarnated as a table dog, a cute and fluffy Shi Tzu who lazes away all day. that would be the life.
