people can say crazy things

i had the scariest night in my life.

i woke up at 11pm only to discover myself trapped inside a pitch black room. silence is everywhere. i could hear nothing but the loud thumping of my heart and the shallow sound of my breathing. in a split second i realized i was inside my room. our room. and im alone.

i quickly jumped out of bed and opened the bedroom door only to find out that the living room is the same eerie pitch black. there were even no lights outside the front door. at that very minute, i could feel sweat forming inside my palm and goosebumps popping all over my body.

im alone. all alone. and it scared me to death.

im used to waking up to either geebee’s hugs and kisses while he playfully urges me to wake up for work. or i would wake up to find him slouched on the living room sofa fumbling with his airsoft guns.

but last night, i woke up to an empty house. it was disorienting.

#1 i received no text messages whatsoever on geebee’s whereabouts

#2 no missed calls

#3 no nothing

it took me a good 10 minutes to pull myself together and hurry to my mom’s house. my brother’s still awake and glued to the television and he verified that he did not see geebee pass by their house towards our apartment. i think he saw how scared i looked. he offered to accompany me back home. i shook my head no and totttered back to an empty house. i sat on the sofa. i sat very still, staring at the wallclock. then little by little, a strange feeling began to wash allover me. slowly, i felt my heart constrict. i was hyperventilating. i was in panic. mute panic. i just froze…couldn’t move…mind racing to a series of what if’s…

what if he had an accident?

what if some crazy drunk bastards got him wile walking alone?

what if he was trapped inside their office, suffocating to death?

what if he was abducted by aliens?

what if…

i was irrational already. but you couldn’t blame me. i stood by him for almost 2 months when he was hospitalized. same thoughts. same series of what if’s…

what if the operation fail?

what if the docotors had a wrong diagnosis?

what if his body do not respond to the medicines?

what if…

it was hell thinking of the what if’s. why can’t he send a single text?! just one measly text to say where he’s at or what he’s doing or even a HI would make me happy at that very minute. but no. my cellphone lay silent beside me, as if mocking me. i was ready to faint.

then i heard somebody. the doorknob turned and there he is. you would’t belive my reaction into seeing his face.

i was stunned.

then i broke down.

i cried…and cried…and cried….and cried…

would you blame me?

then all i could feel was his warm embrace. he need not to explain. im just so relieved he’s home. i don’t care where he was. as long as i know he’s sitting right beside me. then after a few minutes. i stopped, stared at him and just blurted out the most crazy thing,

“tangina mo! sa susunod na gawin mo yun wag ka nang magpakita sakin! gago ka!”

and geegee just smiled. i was worried. worried to death. and he knows it. i guess it made him feel special…and more…

“sabi ko na eh. mahal mo kasi ako.”

crazy love.