musings of the near-deranged (or something like that)

January 14, 2006

its 5:06. in the morning. saturday morning. to be exact. location: office. haha. no rolling of eyes please, because i will definitely not rant and rave and pull hair and shriek about how tired i am and how i wanted to smash my chair on the computer monitor. why? because i don’t feel the need to do so. because even if i already took in 26 calls (and counting and which is beyond the supposed to be 21-per-agent quota we are currently required to take, which makes me want to wish that gives me license to log-out now and not sit her for 3 more hours…gah), i can still say im perfectly okay. not prissy. not bitchy. not irritated. not i-so-want-to-stab-somebody. surprise, surprise. well maybe because in a few more hours i will be drinking in to what we corporate people love most. day-off. thank god for weekend day-offs.

i can’t wait to soak beneath my soft comforters with all 5 pillows inside that pitch-black room we have that doesn’t have windows which is utterly perfect if you wanna go comatose for at least 24 hours to get that much needed shut eye.

i can’t wait to finally slump on the sofa and watch every dvd we have that i haven’t had the luxury to watch…go giggly over princess mia’s antics on princess diaries 1 &2 for the nth time. laugh and cry on all my korean melodramas even if ive been watching the same damn movies over and over again i could already speak stutttered korean.

i can’t wait to take my daily dose of SM and see whats new and check out if Pet Habitat have that gray mini-poodle ive been praying for.

i can’t wait to just relax and spend quality time with geebee.

i can’t wait. even its as short-lived as possible.

~.~

i was watching this tv show yesterday morning after i got home from work. its one of those regular talk shows. it showcased celebrity moms and dads and how having a baby changed their lives and their perception of life. i am not usually gravitated to such no-brainer shows but something just made me hide the remote for a moment so i could hear their stories.

one of them is supposed to be one of philippine cinema’s most beautiful faces (note: not just pretty) who quit the business for some time when she got married. she suddenly made a comeback just last year and then found out she’s pregnant. she had tons of showbiz offers knocking on her door and shooed them all away. beacuse she’s gonna be a mommy soon. here’s quoatable remark she said: “before it would take me hours to get ready. after i gave birth, i could dress up in 10 minutes and not care whether i look stunning or not because i have a child to deal with first, who i enjoy taking care of.”

another is an ex mtv asia vj (you’re either a newborn or was not in living in this planet if you don’t know who im speaking of) who ditched a glamorous carreer where girls go i-wan-to-be-a-VJ-someday-because-of-her to be with her one true love and bear his baby. she’s still stunningly pretty up to now, though a little chubbier, which makes her i guess a lot prettier. there’s something she said (which i know is not that original but coming from her just makes it original): “the moment i feel most beautiful was when i was pregnant.”

the last guest was a daddy of (he’s so goddamn lucky) twins. he started telling this story where he has both babies on his arms and was trying on his wee best to get a picture of them on his own. i rest my case.

so what’s up with all these babytalk (no pun intended)? maybe because ive become such a sucker for weddings and getting pregnant and giving birth. maybe because ive seen too many pregnant mommies while i was at the hospital visiting my mom. maybe, just maybe, because ive been wanting to have one myself. yeah, that hit the bullseye. i want a baby. a baby boy to be specific. i want my first child to be a bouncing and crazy-cute baby boy. but like geebee said, which explains why my mom and dad is so into him: “pakasal muna tayo.” of course! another bullseye.

~.~

they’ve super glued a mirror the size of a credit card on the middle top part of all the monitors here at the office. im not sure why they did that. but here’s a crazy conversation i had with my seatmate:

me: why do they have to put mirrors here? its idiotic. it just makes me notice if a zit has sprouted on my forehead and i don’t usually notice if i have tiny zits mushrooming on my face.

seatmate: yeah. like do we need to retouch every 5 mins or so? or maybe stare at our zits for goodluck on our calls? sick.

me: this is something we don’t need. i mean, what if you’re in a middle of a fucked up call and all moody and suddenly you look into the mirror and see a bright red zit staring back at you? wouldn’t you just want to cuss out loud?

seatmate: yeah, and end up cussing at your customer.

me: yeah. wouldn’t that be liberating?

seatmate: yeah and end up being terminated.

me: fuck. be terminated just because of these stupid mirrors? crazy.

~.~

i miss you. i miss the conversations. the teasing. the conversations. damn i miss you. and i hate it.

god, i must be deranged to miss you. because in the first place, i have no right to.