the endless drama of i-hate-this-job

im bummed. super bummed. whooper bummed. bummed to the kadillionth power.

in short…

i hate my current state of life.

correction, make that current state of carreer-life.

bummer.

~.~

i got an IR (Incident Report)  from work today. yet again. my 2nd. the first was fun. because its a first, so i deem it as fun. even showing it off. my first IR was because of Performance. remember that riveting post (TAYTOL: senti-sentihan mode) about not receiving any surveys for months and that suddenly makes you an idiot? that’s that. i feel particularly okay with that. but for the past month ive been slacking because #1 my mom’s been sick and since im the ate, its my responsibility to take her to her doctor and rush her to the hospital when needed thus mounting my absences from work and #2 im so sick and tired of the job its no fun to wake up at 10pm anymore to get over my 11pm-8am shift. so when you do #1 + #2, the result is = IR part 2. *groan* im up for one more IR and then termination. surprisingly, im not even alarmed, nor threatened, nor scared-i-cant-sleep-with-the-idea-of-getting-terminated. maybe because its either i resignfirst before i get kicked out. im betting on the first one.

~.~

don’t get me wrong. i don’t regret ever applying for this job in the first place. im a geek at heart. and i thought that speaking with american customers for 10 hours a day would help my communication skills. i loved the job on my first 3 or 4 months. until it became boring. and the became an endless routine of ranting with stupid, know-it-alls and racist customers. soon i was not receiving any surveys for my calls. soon i was receiving depressing surveys where i wonder if my customers were so retarded that they didn’t know how to rate an agent who helped them get online or retrieve their long lost emails or open internet explorer or even turning on their PC’s and laptops. then i began getting sick due to extreme fatigue (read: dying-in-front-of-PC). then i incurred a month’s worth of absences because my mom got sick (and i got sick). then i started to hate this job with a passion that i sometimes cry at home due to frustration. and im tired. ive never felt more tired in my whole life. i finished a 400-page thesis on my own in college and it never gave me that feeling. i love the technical knowledge ive learened in this job. but it has killed my spirit. ive had enough of this.