beware of the assuming clipboard lady and other stories

to those asking how am doing.

am i feeling better?

am i still sick?

am i still alive?

here’s my answer:

bitchy today, aren’t we?

not really.

just being factual.

and desperate.

i need a different job.

help.

is there anybody out there who can give me glamorous day job?

il wash your car for a year.

just tear me out of this keyboard.

ack.

~.~

i was running into a 30-min call with a customer with a slow pc and a slow mind. plus a bonus router and additional wireless laptop. im doing fine. call flow is okay. i mean, its not my fault that the cu keeps on forgetting how to click open his browser or that his pc is extremely ancient it goes back to the stone age and that he’s so fussy he insists to try surfing for 10-minutes on his own even after i connect his desktop just so he can make sure his homepage is not a hoax. so a normal below 15-min call goes waaayyyy beyond what i expected but its okay with me…so im sitting here, browsing through my favorite sites while my customer now tries to surf on his wireless laptop…taking his own sweet time…checking emails…offline messages…porn sites…then suddenly this girl with a clipboard whose only job, i assure you, is walk around the floor to end long calls for us agents and ask our customers how we did on the call, how’s the service and all that shit then ends the call with you can always call us back for help, we’re open 24/7 as if they’re gonna be there to answer their ranting and cursing.

so back to the clipboard-lady. she comes up with a knowing look and asks, do you need help?

i wanted to answer back: do i look like an idiot?

but i got hold of my sanity before it could slide down the carpeted floor and just gave her a blank face and a thumbs up. im glad she’s not as slow as my customer so she understood that im an expert in hooking wireless routers and that she can leave me alone to deal with the call.

trivia: the clipboard lady i learned has been promoted prematurely. 1 month on training. 1 month on training taking calls. 1 month taking calls on production. and the next month, tada! she’s promoted! fireworks! raised eyebrows! a lot of whispering on the floor! how’d she manage that? beats me.

no, we’re not envious. definitely not bitter. try taking calls for 7 months. try dealing with stupid, insane, perverted customers who have dsl problems for 7 months. experience resolving one issue to another, from the common to the complicated for 7 months. it makes you feel like a pro. even if you get downtimes (like failing surveys for only-god-knows-what reason), you know that you know what you’re doing.

so when im in a middle of troubleshooting a complicated customer-have-wireless-equipment-and-multiple-desktops-but-he-is-stupid which i can assure you i can troubleshoot with eyes closed (because ive had the same issue a kadillion times ive memorized the steps), don’t come up to me you clipboard lady who only took calls for 2 months and decided to apply for promotion on the first chance and got lucky(?) to be promoted because hey, you only had 2 months worth of stats while i have 7 months worth spiced with fucked-up surveys.

so just continue your job, prancing around the floor. peeking at our timers. looking for above 15-min calls where you nudge the agent and assume she’s/he’s lost at what she’s/he’s doing and offer help. because you might have been lucky today since i got hold of myself, but you might not be lucky the next time. im bitchy when i want to. and im bitchy when i know my place. so know your place. and that is to walk around the room staring at your clipboard. if that’s how you call productive, then you can drown in it.

ahhhhhh.

that felt good. soooooo good. can’t wait to go home and rant about it again.

anyway, that 30-min call? the customer was so glad he got connected on both his desktop and laptop he could have hugged me if i was beside him.

teehee!

i still want another job, though.

im praying, praying hard for one.