chopsuey thoughts

im in a total slump right now. its that time of the month. no, definitely not the im-having-cramps-go-to-hell thingy. its the im-so-fuckin-tired-of-this-job scene again. its my regular monthly burn-out. and im embracing it. and im thinking of going AWOL. im just plain fed up. my brain’s freezing again. im off to being the Grouchiest Agent of the Year. *guffaws*

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its a week before christmas. a week! funny why im reacting this way. there won’t be any its-christmas-lets-all-get-drunk-and-parteee moments for me. im coming to work on christmas eve. very exciting. haha. wats new. ive become a work slave. crazy. crazy. CRAZEEE. well, at least im not gonna be alone. i have my fellow crazies with me who either are really scheduled to come to work or are simply coming in because of the huge HUGE double pay. well so much for christmas spirits.

jingel bells, jingle bells, jingle all the wayyyyyyy…….awaaayyyy…far, far awaaaayyy…

don’t get me wrong. im not turning into a female version of ebenezer scrooge. this is just plain work. im being professional. that’s why im ditching the yuletide tingly feeling for a ranty 9-hour hell in front of my office PC on a freezing cold christmas eve. can’t wait. ugh.

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so im getting pretty excited about one thing. first, bob ong’s fifth book is out: Stainless Longganisa which will surely rock my ass once i grab a copy and start leafing through it. bob ong is one cool and demented guy. he rocks my world!

2nd, im excited for new year. that is because i will be going down to manila to celebrate it with geebee and his family. but its like this. 20% excited of celebrating it there and 80% excited of burning my loot! wahahahaha! ive been dying to spend for myself but ultimate resistance is gripping me. my secret: there’s a lot more choices to choose from the shops in manila than here in baguio. so there goes! well besides from that dvd player and tons of cd’s we splurged on last week, eveything is plain scrimping. but come new year, everything will be spankin’ new! wahooo! now that’s something i look forward to.

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now i know ive been a good girl. ive worked for almost 10 hours a day for 6 days a week for the past 7 months. ive driven myself to madness so i can earn my own loot and not ask from daddy like i was a 6 year old kid who can’t even afford to buy a lollipop. ive been totally patient, well maybe there are instances when i simply throw my brain for a moment so i can curse and rant at how life is so fucked up but i always admit my bitchiness at the end and say sorry to geebee the day after i lash at him like he’s the source of my misery. i also took care, taking care and will continue to look after my mom who is at the moment going through some extreme medication because of her heart failure. ive tried my best to be there for my brother and sister (read: doing internet research for their assignments!). ive tweaked a number of friendster lay-outs for friends and office mates because they’re either too lazy to learn the ropes or are simply stuck on how to get the correct html code so that their background would be flickery and glittery like mine. ive cooked meals that are so damn good (according to the only person who scoffs them all up: geebee) which has proven that ive ramped up on my wifey skills. and even if ive gone eccentric doing my job, i still find time for my family and friends even if its a simple offline message, tag message or email.

i want to believe ive been more nice than naughty this year. so dear santa, ive just posted my wishlist last time and it has pictures to go with it so i hope you get the hint. *wink, wink*

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i dunno if i was hearing it right last night or im simply hallucinating. but geebee said somehing about getting married on or before March next year. am i hearing it right??!! so there’s a definite date already??!! really??!! seriously??!! i dunno…i was woozy from lack of sleep when he mentioned that. i can’t even remember why and how that statement got into the picture. all i know is that im in a twisted heap of pillows, bedsheet, comforter and more pillows with a heavy feeling of stress and the light headed and nauseous feeling of sleeping barely 2 hours when he uttered those words. today’s our off. will be on rampage for another day of pigfest so will have time to corner him and straighten things out…basta by March kasal na tayo…waaahhh! did he really say that?