pop-up massacre

December 10, 2005

eat your pop-ups! eat your pop-ups!

faint now! faint now!

die now! die now!

relax. these are just one liners that me and my 2 other seatmates has been accustomed to using for the past week.

history behind these insane one-liners?

i had a customer who called in complaining that since the day she got bellsoouth dsl, she’s been bombarded with a kadillion pop-ups. so i told her to get a life and offered to download and install our free pop-up catcher.

so we did.

her pc was slow, and so is she so that took us a good 20 minutes to finish.

we reopened her internet explorer and she screamed out in horror, pop-ups! pop-ups! so i had her download and install good ‘ole google toolbar which i myself use. after that we reboot her ancient pc and had her reopen again her browser.

she went faint, i guess, because according to this dumb-ass she still has pop-ups.

im tired. an 8 minute call is going 30 minutes and effing climbing!!!!

im gonna tear hear apart when i see her walking down session road! (which is, of course, impossible because she’s located in Georgia. good for her).

i asked her if she has anything on her google toolbar saying if it blocked any pop-up. miss stupid said, there’s something that says 5 blocked? how did that happen?

die now please!

mustering enough sincerity in my voice, i informed her that the pop-up advertisements has been blocked. then she goes, but i still have pop-ups!

i made her read the pop-ups and she read them to me one by fuckin’ one.

WinFixer blah blah.

Spyware Scanner blah blah.

Internet Security blah blah.

Firewall blah blah.

oh why did mother earth let these kind of people roam the universe?

all of her pop-ups are not actually the advertisement pop-ups that a pop-up blocker would keep it away because these are warning messages coming from her PC itself.

In short, her ancient PC is messed up like her brain. i told her that and told her to kill herself. just kiddin’.

so at first she wouldn’t believe me.

you bitch!

but i raised my voice and made it as stern and cold as possible. i told her to read between the lines. that im gonna evaporate from where im seated and reappear behind her to strangle her with my headset cable.

no. again, im just wishing out loud. 

i just told her to contact a PC technician to have her PC cleaned. she paused for a good 15 seconds. i was cursing under my breath. she takes my suggestion and hungs up.

im seething with anger by then.

1 hour! 1-hour call! just because of so-called pop-ups! aaaaaaaarggghhhh!

the next time i get a call like that, id tell them to eat their fuckin’ pop-ups, go faint and die!

breathe in. breathe out.

so after that. we’ve been pushing the mute button on our phones and mimic our customers adding those one-liners. it takes out the stress.

*giggles*

im howkey now. its saturday. my off. tomorrow is sunday. also my off.

*big smile*