dreamy weekends

before anything else, i would like to give my utmost praises to gelo….yesss! thanks to him i was able to get hold of my sanity before it could slide down the floor. his tip on how i could fix my fucked-up lay-out is miraculous! i know, i overreacted last time…but what the heck…this is my life!

                                                                    ~.~

i always take the 20-minute ride from my house to the office as my own personal peace-time..especially when i travel at night on my graveyard shifts. i just stare at the window and watch houses and pine trees breeze by and slowly my mind drifts back to what’s happened, what’s happening and what could happen. last night, as the taxi i rode to is extremely and painstakingly slow, i got the chance to organize my thoughts. so much has happened in a span of 2 days that i found myself racing to catch them all and line them up in my mind. 

                                                                   ~.~

saturday and sunday was my off. i was screaming in my head. 2-day off! after 5 months! that’s screamable. and geebee loved it. saturday morning was my mom’s appointment with her doctor. was able to get back home earlier than expected (around 10am) so we (me and geebe) had lots of time for pillow fights and tickle-race which meant we did nothing but run around our apartment for the rest of the morning. we came back to our senses at around 1pm when we geared up and decided to go downtown for a weekly dose of SM. at this point, im trying soooo hard to remember what was it that we did last saturday that had me laughing in the middle of a crowded mall. i forgot. that’s not so me. anyway, it was a particularly good saturday. its my friend’s daughter’s 3rd birthday the next day so i had to look for a birthday gift. i don’t want to give away toys which she would eventually just stare at compared as to what her tita from the states probably sent for her. and no, im not thinking of giving her any clothes since i haven’t seen the little girl in a year so you get the idea. we both settled for a good children’s book (typical me) so we headed for the very national bookstore and elbowed a kadillion kids in the children’s reading area. the first choice was a very girly Barbie storybook but the price tag was enough to buy me a moisturizer at Body Shop so we decided otherwise. then we saw these glossy-type disney storybooks that’s on bargain and really, really looks expensive. we were ready to go pay for them when i decided that i wanted to give her a coloring book. so first we looked for decent looking crayons, found a branded Mickey Mouse Crayon set, marched back to the children’s area and picked and ditched and picked and ditched until geebee found these huge, scratch that, HUGE Dora the Explorer coloring book. very kewl. we paid for it and then racked our brains on how we’re going to wrap the gift. like i said, its soooo huge that it would cost something to have it wrapped. i remembered larj’s (my architect friend) advise: when in doubt, wrap it with a pretty ribbon. so that’s settled. we bought a light brown manila-paper-look-alike and wrapped it with a pretty peach ribbon and tada! we had a neat looking birthday gift.

we’re also supposed to catch a movie but no, everything’s harry potter so we ditched the idea. we rented 3 videos instead. dubai for my mom who was not able to watch it, cody banks 2 because we were able to watch the prequel and brother bear because i was able to watch it and geebee not. right now, im trying soooo hard to remember what was it that i cooked for dinner but horror of horrors, i really can’t remember. blank. but i can vividly remember that we had a movie marathon until 12 midnight while feasting on different kinds sari-sari store junkfood until my head hurt will all that MSG stuff they flavor it with. but i was happy. happy and content. happy and content and in-love. 

                                                                    ~.~

geebee, against all odds, decided to skip work because its also my off and its sunday anyway. i was expecting that. was hoping for that. praying for that. the gods heard me and the result, i don’t have to spend a lonely sunday morning watching live mass on television. so  the pillow-fight and tickle-mode had a part 2 until we tired ourselves. and also since our mattresses is spread in the middle of our living room floor, which has become a weekly ritual (that is to sleep in our living room in front of the television on weekends), geebee had a swell time with his PS playing NBA Live 2005 while i  lay slump beside him reading Sharon Sala’s Sweet Baby…i don’t know, but it feels good, with the morning sun drifting on our bodies as we lay slumped with all our pillows with our sofa at our backs. and before we could forget that we have a children’s party to attend at 3pm, we heavily pulled ourselves up to take a shower and change and by 3pm we’re off to a world of balloons and party hats and screaming 3-year-olds.

the party was held at one of the many Jollibees that mushroomed in the city. we were early at 3:30pm. the invite says 3pm. typical, typical filipino time. danielle, the birthday girl, pretty in a pink dress and lace socks was screaming around (i told yah). then one by one my other college friends arrived. it was like a mini-reunion like no other. one of them came with her 1 year-old daughter. some familiar faces. old college schoolmates with their daughters and sons. i feel old. and i felt nauseous. and suddenly an old craving crept back to my system. i want a baby! i just stared at all those cute and annoying little angels and felt like choking. geebee saw my face and started joking about it. since i was fat, fatter than they last saw me, everbody’s joking that im pregnant. of course i told them im not but geebee’s kidding around saying that i am…i hated him for that! but in truth, i really wished i was…ack!

the party was over by 6pm. we proceeded to ionic cafe for old times sake. i missed the place. i remembered staying there with fortz during exam nigths drinking beer. i remember scoffing down english tea (read: hot tea with creamer and lemon wedges). i remember making beso-beso on my way in because it just so happens that everybody knows everybody at ionic. i remember sleeping on one of their ancient sofas. i remember the good times i had there. just sitting there last sunday night gave me goosebumps. its like stepping into a past life with everything on black and white.

                                                                       ~.~

so all in all, it was a wonderful weekend. no questions asked. dreamy, very  very dreamy….

what a fucked up world!

what the fuck is wrong with i.ph??!!! is there soemthing going on with the software they’re using??!! my lay-out’s all messed up!!! aaaaaarrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

i practically adored, correction, worshipped i.ph the first time i tried it that’s why i stuck with it and practically abolished my other blogs…and look at it now!! aacccccckkkkk!!!

sorry…just as ive though, im still on bitch mode…and yes, the bitching is still above level 8…and climbing! CLIMBING!!!!

something has to be done! now! now! NOW!

***takes a deep breathe***

well…i.ph is free anyway…shouldn’t expect too much…

*yawn*

on being selfless

my mom’s been kicking ass since yesterday. in short, she’s a lot okay now since she got sick about 2 or 3 weeks ago. cool…very, very cool. we’re now able to make kwento with her and laugh at our jokes. *insert loud sigh of relief here*

after i got home yesterday and did some pa-housewife stuff in our apartment, i took my pillow, blanket, lip balm, cellphone and house keys and marched to my mom’s house. yes, she’s my neighbor (haha!). ive been sleeping in her room for the past 3 months already. its impossible to have my eyes shut with my landlord’s children doing jumping jacks in the room just above where i sleep. i guess even if i complain a kadillion times, children will be children and im beginning to get horrified at the idea that i might bear similar mini monsters like the one our poor landlord have to bear with for the rest of his life.

anyway, going back to my mom’s room, it was around 1:30pm when i got in bed and she followed so we can make kwento on what transpird during her regular visit to her doctor. as of presstime, my mom is still undergoing extreme medications (read: 3 antibiotics with a daily dose of injectables that costs 1k each…damn!). but the happy thing is, she’s been going to her doctor on her own now. meaning, she can now handle herself well which is a neon sign saying that, I’M FEELING HEALTHIER EACH DAY! good.

so, she told me of the latest findings and all that medical stuff you don’t wanna know. and we reminisced her old days when she was in and out of hospitals, maybe 3x in a year. and i reminisced the time geebee was hospitalized for 2 months. that was last year, around this time, during our first year together. that was the most trying time in my entire life (second of course to the time my mom was hospitalized for 3 months in manila and she was on comatose for 3 days). during that time, i had a medical crash course and i became nurse, caregiver, pharmacist and dietician within the span of 2 months. here’s how:

::nurse because i had to be there if not 24 hours, at least most of my waking hours. i had to make sure his temperature is always normal, that his dextrose doesn’t ran out and if he needs to have is injections or have his blood pressure checked…and if his doctor comes in, i become assistant to his assistant nurse…so that makes me assistant assistant nurse and all his doctors respect that which is why they update, i repeat, THEY UPDATE me on how he’s doing…

::caregiver because i have to change his clothes, accompany him to the bathroom (remember: he has a needle stuck to one of his arms), help him brush his teeth, comb his hair…

::pharmacist because i know all his medicines, including their generic names, where a specific med is bought and how much it costs. i know which medicine is to be taken at a particular time and which medicine is already running out. i can even tell the name or what its for just looking at the shape or color…

::dietician because i know which food is good for him and which food could kill him. i know which food goes with which med and which shouldn’t be eaten with which med. i even know why he needs a particular food and where it can be bought at what price…

ive given him almost all my time, energy, tears, care and love. during that time, it was 2nd semester and i was finishing the last half of my thesis with defense drawing nearer and nearer. i had to do write-ups in the taxi on my way to school or to the hospital. and when we had to transfer geebee to a hospital in manila, i had to go down friday night with a bunch of paper work like surveys to be tallied and analyzed inside the bus then come back home on a sunday night with the same paperwork on hand. it was stressful… but the funny thing is, i cherished every moment. i did everything i can in my power for him to get better…like walking to the nearest pharmacy at 2 in the morning when he needed a particular injectible that is not available in the hospital’s pharmacy.

and his parents, his family saw all of that. and i guess, because of all that effort, i was able to prove that id do everything for him. not that they doubt me at all, its just like i gave them a clear verification. and i became closer to his family because of that. and it was heartwarming…

my mom just smiled while i reminisced that time. there’s nothing else to say. like i said, she’s my neighbor so she knows how i take care of geebee even at home. and she says im ready. i believe so. im ready.

from drama queen to mental case queen and etc…

i know, i know…my last post screams DRAMA QUEEN! but you can’t blame me. that’s that. you are not currently sitting in this hellhole staring at the monitor for a good 10 hours with every ounce of life and laughter slowly drained from your system. so you don’t have any right to go emo and whine for the rest of your freakin’ working life like me. period.

i therefore declare myself DRAMA QUEEN of the month and there’s nothing you can do about it. let out a snicker and il feed you to the sharks.

nyahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha!

on second thought, i think MENTAL CASE QUEEN of the month is a more appropriate title. with the looks of it, i think it will take some time before i am dethroned. good luck.

BREAKING NEWS: i haven’t changed the lay-out of my blog for a good month. not one font. ha! what an achievement. the secret? ive been busy tweaking my friendster account. ahahahaha! yes, ladies and gentlemen, ive bombarded it with glittery stuff and the like with matching customized cursors and marquees and color-changing scroll bars…ammppff…so if you wanna take a peek on one of the fruits of my multi-tasking skills at work, feel free to swing into summer_kezia@yahoo.com, and if you think that you’re half as crazy as me, add me up and we’ll see!

also, because i was addicted to blinkies for the past month, i was also gravitated to making glittery texts on this helpful site, which would also explain why i have that pa-gurl signature below..weeeee

ADD-ONS: geebee’s bro who flew to dubai last last week is coming back home this saturday according to his mom. no, he’s not flying in for an early vacation, he’s bailing out. and as expected, everybody is disappointed especially geebee. the grand plan was he’d be the first to go there, followed by me and geebee next year (we’re keeping our fingers crossed). the future was so bright and suddenly there was a total eclipse of the sun. im disappointed myself. it would be such a waste. the opportunity was golden and glowing and he’ll be throwing it out of the window into the sandy dunes just because he’s homesick to death. but 2 weeks!? it was only 2 weeks! of course he’ll normally have the urge to come home, everything is still fresh…his family and friends’ close company and all that. we sent numerous pep talk messages to him. geebee is so frustrated with him. oh well, its only thursday, we don’t know what will happen tomorrow. but i still hope he grows up. i would have given up anything i have here to have a chance to fly there as soon as i can. the opportunity is limitless if you have the skills, talent and determination! promise, i would not be like him. but im not like him. im an independent person. my dad saw to that. thanks a lot to him i can stand on my own feet. and yes, been doing that for almost 6 years already. very good.

teehee.

senti-sentihan mode

napagtanto ko, matagal-tagal na rin pala akong hindi gumagamit ng tagalog sa blog ko. napadaan kasi ako sa friendster blog ng long-lost childhood prend ko at nabighani akong gumamit muli ng tagalog. kaya eto. wala lang. gah.

sa mga oras na to, iisa lang ang nararamdaman ko: HAGGARD. ano ba tagalog ng haggard? hindi ko alam kaya ingles na lang. haggard na ako. nandito pa rin ako at nagpapaka-alila sa tabaho, nakikipagsapalaran sa mundo ng mga engot sa paggamit ng kompyuter at internet. ack.

isa pa, PRESSURED ako ngayon. muli, hindi ko alam ang tagalog ng pressured kaya ingles na lang. eto lang ha, kasalanan ko ba na para sa mga kostumer eh saksakan ng pasaway ang serbisyong binibigay ng kumpanyang pinagtatrabahuan ko kaya tuwing may survey na natatanggap ang kostumer eh kahit pa 10 ang rating sakin at bagsak ang rating ng kostumer sa kumpanya eh bagsak pa rin ang over-all rating ko at sa kasamaang-palad eh apektado agad ng nag-iisang lecheng survey ang stats ko (kung bakit kasi ihinalo pa sa survey ang tanong patungkol kung are you satisfied with the services of B**S**** eh ang isyu naman eh kung masaya ba ang kostumer sa pagtulong mo sa kanilang pumindot ng right-click sa mouse o sa pagturo mo kung paano buksan ang email nila.)

leche.

nagyon, pakiramdam ko isa na rin akong engot dahil sa namumula kong stats. at ngayon pressured to the maxxxx na akong magkaroon ng panalong survey para naman mabawi-bawi ko ang kahihiyan ko. aaminin ko, may mga pagkukulang rin ako sa trabaho sa nakalipas ng mga linggo. ako’y naging tamad, pabaya at deMOTIVATED. ingles ulit yan dahil hindi ko alam ang tagalog. kumbaga, hindi na ako ENTHUSIASTIC sa ginagawa ko. hindi ko alam ang tagalog ng enthusiastic kaya wag mo ng tanungin. maraming dahilan. sari-sari. magulo. minsan parang palusot lang sa pandinig pero totoo.

una, 6 na buwan na ako sa trabaho at pakiramdam ko IT’S TOO MUCH. pero sorry ako, dahil hindi lang ako ang umabot na ng 6 months kaya malamang hindi lang ako ang nakakaramdam ng ganito ngayon kaya malamang lamang din ay isa lamang itong palusot. period.

pangalawa, pagod na ako. at syempere kokontra mga kasama ko sa trabaho dahil sa kasawiang palad, lahat kami ay pagod na. kaya palusot lang uli ito. syet.

pangatlo, may sakit nanay ko ngayon. okay naman sya, pero syempre UNDER MEDICATION pa rin. hindi ko alam ang tagalog nyan. minsan syempre, nawawala ako sa FOCUS. at kapag nangyari yun, nawawala ako sa sarili. natatameme sa kostumer. hindi na ito palusot. nanay ko nag pinag-uusapan dito.

marami. iba-iba. magulo. mga dahilan kung bakit sa trabaho ay may puntong nasasabi mong ayaw mo na, sawa ka na, tama na, GIVE UP kana.

siguro nga dahil hindi lang talaga ako masaya sa ginagawa ko. nandito ako dahil kailangan ko ng trabaho. nandito ako dahil eto na ang may pinakamataas sa sweldo (second sa mga pulitiko syempre) dito sa baguio city. nandito ako dahil trabaho ito at marami ang wala nito sa pilipinas.

sabi nga ng tatay ko, tiis-tiis lang muna ako. yun lang, yung PROMSE nya na gagawan nya ng paraan na makaalis ako ng pinas sa susunod na taon para magtrabaho para sa kumpanya nila sa mabuhanging bansa ng mga camel at makakapal na gintong kwintas ang isa sa mga makatwirang dahilan kung bakit ako nagpapaka-buwang dito.

isa pa, THIS IS NOT MY CALLING. NO. NOT ONCE. NOT EVER. NOT IN MY LIFETIME. ayan, napa-ingles tuloy ako. paumanhin, dala lang yan ng bugso ng aking damdamin.

iba ang pangarap ko. maging isang NOVELIST, INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST, WEDDING PLANNER, ARCHAEOLOGIST. puro ingles lang ulit yan. walang kokontra. libre mangarap, ay CORRECTION, libre magkaroon ng plano sa buhay.

saan ba makakabili ng wishing star? papabili ako sa tatay ko.

I WISH…I WISH…I WISH…THAT I WAS A BUTTERFLY…

hahaha! praning na ako. basta, matatapos rin ang pagkukunyari. lahat may hangganan.

balang araw magigising ako at sasambitin ang mga katagang, “excited na ako pumasok sa trabaho!”

habang may buhay…habang may buhay…

pizzas and grandchildren

promise il never eat an 18″ pepperoni and mushroom with extra cheese pizza for the next 3 months. and il never even attempt to eat it with just geebee to share it with. just thinking of that makes me want to barf.

last sunday night, after doing some grocery shopping, we decided to dinner out…but because we have like 3-4 grocery bags, we decided against it. dinner out or rent-a-vieo night? rent-a-video won 1st place.

off to video one, it was a close fight between Ice Princess and Triple X. so i whined and whined and when it did not work on geebee, i nagged and nagged and when it did not still work, i bitched and i bitched and it worked like magic.

after that, another argument on what to order for take-out. Jollibee and Yellow Cab are neck to neck with each other. i wanted, correction, was craving for a crispy chicken thigh…but had second thoughts due to that bird flu ek ek…so pizza bagged the crown.

after we got home and scoffed down a meal good for 6-8 people and watched that feel-good, cheesy all-american skating movie, i felt like i would die right there. an 18″ pizza with just 2 people scoffing it all down is too much. to goddam much.

so i decided, no pizzas for 3 months or more. i want to live until i see my grandchildren get married.

ack!

why i can’t get enough of baguio city

for the past 2 days, we experienced a 12 degree cold front here in baguio. its like a sign. cold season’s here! weeeeeee! let’s all throw in our jackets and windbreakers and bonnets and mittens and mufflers! it feels like canada again! cold, cold, cold! i love it!

then i woke up this morning and it wasn’t cold anymore. its freezing! its freezing, freezing cold! i think the temperature’s around 10-8 degrees down. i loove it. it feels like im living inside the real baguio again. it was freakin’ hot here for the past months. felt like hell. the cold, correction, freezing temp we have now was like a fresh mint spray during a humid summer day. amazing. i can’t stop blabbering about it. i looovve it. and why not? its the number one reason why i can’t leave this pine tree paradise.

blah blah blah

 day off! its our day off!

 *insert shrieking here*

im back and blogging

im back. again. hahahaha. nothing, i just want to laugh out loud. seriously, it s a cover-up. im stuck. i don’t know what to write. aacck! help! help! help!

                                                                    ~.~

ive been hibernating for the past days. yes, ive been on a hiatus. reason: my mom was sick. she has a heart failure for years already and she usually has these mood swings. she’s okay for a couple of months or maybe a year or two, then boom! she’s sick again. i thought i was used to it. but the first 3 days is a always a blur of panic to drama. but we go by. she’s still under medication. please pray for her immediate recovery….

                                                                     ~.~

my mom, in the middle of being out of breath and having difficulty grasping for words had time to tell me this: im might die anytime and i haven’t seen my grandchildren yet..gah? i look at my back, left, right…uh oh…im alone in the room with her. she’s not telling this to my brother. she’s telling it to me! TO ME! *i hope you picture my reaction here*

                                                                     ~.~

and coincidentally, my dad  was also here. in the philippines. he’s supposed to take a 1-week vacation leave as per his doctor’s orders. he’s been overworked. mega-stressed. and according to his doctor, he have to have a few days of r&r or he’ll be facing a possible burn-out inside a hospital with nurses and doctors scurrying around him. funny how my mom and dad decided to get sick at the same time. ooppss, sorry. its not funny. i mean, how COINCIDENTAl that they got sick at the same time. but my dad’s okay now, thank you very much. he flew back to jeddah last wednesday with a new tan. he was in ilo-ilo and bacolod half the time he was here. *my mom and dad are separated a zillion years ago*

                                                                     ~.~

by the way, here are my latest posessions, thanks to my dad. they may not be included in my wishlist but hey, big big thanks to my best friend…luv yah dad!

*mine doesn’t exactly look like that. it doens’t have the dots and the sole’s white, but the colors! the COLORS are EXACTLY the same. teehee*

*D’Issey Miyake in Rainbow. im sooo in love with the bottles. i like the citrus-y smell, i like the bottles better*

*United Colors of Benetton in Hot. old time favorite. no explanations needed*

                                                                    ~.~

my current shift schedule is crazy. 1st half is 9pm-1am. im home at exactly 1:30am. pester geebee who’s fast asleep and oh-so-comfortable under the sheets for another 30 minutes until i feel sleepy. wake up at 5:30am. heat up my bath. slump at the sofa for another 30 minutes. take a bath at 6am. be at work by 7:30am. log in to the phones again by 8am and debacle with our customers until 12 noon. that’s the 2nd half of our shift. crazy.

resurrected

halooo.

im back from the dead.

i was on a 5-day illegal hitaus. both from work and from the world wide web.

too much has happened.

im too lazy to write it down.

im too woozy to tell you stories.

so il go bye-bye again for the meantime.

il blog when my mind comes back from its own vacation.

teehee.

back to hell

last saturday shift, it was 43 fucking calls waiting. today, its 48 people in avail. 48 aliens are sitting on their butts and staring at their monitors. no calls coming in. wtf?!

im supposed to be elated, right. but no. im pissed of. bad day. bad start of the work week. here’s fuckin’ why:

1. ive got a deep dive. in short, i was surveyed for one of my calls and the customer gave me an overall rating of 10 out of 10 while he gives the dsl company a 5/10. damn. it only means one thing, i still fail the entire survey. i admit, the dsl company we’re assigned to sucks big time. that’s why i always rant about customers going crazy with their dsl connections. the dsl company whose supposed to keep them connected is one big joke. so that’s why we’re here, tech support, who absorbs all hell and fury. goddamn.

2. i feel really sick. headache. burning eyes. body pain. im tired again. i can see a possible burnout coming. oh hell, il welcome it with open arms.

3. we were made to transfer bays. meaning, we have to evacuate our supposed-to-be permanent PC stations because they’re doing a major re-shuffle on the floor. so i have to leave my beloved PC with all my files and kick-ass wallpapers behind…aarrgghh!

4. all my calls will be monitored. as in. each and everyone of them. for this week. haggard. aaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

5. im lousy to the nth power. period.

dammit! dammit! dammit!

i hate the world. i hate my life. i want to die.

*faints on the floor

**happySarah is on hiatus. welcome angstySarah for the meantime

warning: shrieking in here

i want to watch aeon flux!

and memoirs of a geisha!

and and chicken little!

and and and flightplan!

i want! i want! iwant!

thats’s what i get for bumming at work and doing nothing but watching endless movie trailers…

we might, i stress MIGHT, be having back our 2-day off again starting next saturday! oh praises! i feel faint…after four fucked up and stress-induced months! the gods have listened…i can’t help it…*gives out loud, high-pitched shriek*

untitled

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I
confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because
nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight
through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long
before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital
because they would not let my partner of twenty-
seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with
nightmares of being taken away from the two
fathers who are the only loving family I have ever
had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the
attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and
in another year I will probably be able to walk
again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just
weeks before graduating high school. It was simply
too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on
us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-
bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I
should use if I want to avoid getting the
management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the
children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says

I am an unfit mother because I now live with
another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the
support system grow suddenly cold and distant
when they found out my abusive partner is also a
woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no
support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son
because I grew up afraid to show affection to other
men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always
wanted to teach gym until someone told me that
only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics
stopped treating me as soon as they realized I
was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I
could be a much better person if I didnt have to
always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not
because I don’t believe, but because they closed
their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world
needs most, love.

repost this if you belive homophobia is wrong

~.~ i came upon this poem while blog hopping…it tugged something within me and i just have to repost it…you can view the site where i took it from, cool blog too ~.~

i was in hell and back

woke up at 10pm and wanted to die. putek. its saturday night. lecheng rest day over time.

11:59 pm na. i log in to the phones at exactly 12am. 40 calls waiting. fuck that.

im hating this job again. i want more sleep. less over times.

give me a life. 

at 12:03am i haven’t logged in the phones yet. il just wait for my coach to push the headset on my woozy head and click on auto-in on my phone.

but God loves me.

at 12:05am, with 43 fucking calls waiting on the line, my coach comes up to me and makes me the callback person for the day.

YEHEY! callback! CALLBACK!!!! meaning i don’t have to rant about stupid floridians tonight who cuss at you because they can’t get their dsl to work right after the hurricane. duh! whaddayah expect? stupid, stupid.

anyway, CALLBACK! CALLBACK! CALLBACK! meaning: endless ringing of phones-customers not at home, answering machines, private phone directors, customers in a hurry…blah blah blah…in short, no migraine-inducing troubleshooting. 

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee…thanks a goddam lot coach ace!

so…what to do? what to do?

1. listen to an endless stream of music…wahoo!

2. surf for kick-ass wallpapers and/or background and lay-outs for the once again future overhaul of my blogpage…ahahahaha

3. relax. relax. relax.

gaaaaaaahhhdddddd! whatta shift! wooooooopedo!

meet the family

finally! i shed of 1 and a half inches (or i think that’s two? haha!) from my so lapad waist/balakang…gaaaahhh! that’s 1 week of twisting my body to produce fat for you! im soooo elated…gawd…super happy…ahihihihihihi…and im celebrating by munching on my second bar of Snickers….well not consecutively…i had one when i got home from work this morning and i just had the second one now…well as if that made any difference…
teehee…but still, i lost something! i lost 1 and a half inches! *claps to myself* (i know, i sound very pathetic. i admit that. aacck!)

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they’re gone. off. back to their hometown. on a bus. away from my shivering knees. well im referring to geebee’s aunt who came with her husband and son to visit us here in baguio from pampanga. well they’re supposed to stay in a hotel or sumthin’ but its biglaan and all other decent hotels in the city are fully-booked…and geebee, wanting be the oh-so-mabait nephew suggested, or scratch that, offered our place. our place. OUR APARTMENT! why does he have to do that??!! everybody knows, and he himself even claims that this aunt of her is like the wicked witch of the east (or was that west?) from the land of oz! aaaarrggghh! well she’s not really that wicked, she just has this scary aura. take this: when they arrived, his husband (geebee’s uncle) is all smiles to meet me, while she just sort of stared at me with that i-don’t-care-who-you-are look all over her face. i wanted to melt, vaporize and be swallowed alive by our living room floor! it was a horrific scene! well i guess i was expecting too much…its just that i was used to the warmth of geebee’s other relatives (especially on the father’s side) and maybe i was expecting the same with them. but couldn’t she spare me an eeny-teeny-weeny smile? dammit…its driving me crazy. its making me paranoid. i haven’t met most of geebee’s mother side and that scenario the day before is scaring me out of my wits! but as they said, hinde naman sya ang papakasalan mo so just deal with it! yeah, and you can’t please everybody…so that’s it.

question to myself: was i too fat? *gag*  

the revenge of the puto seko

question to ponder upon:

what if puto seko na lang ang natitirang pagkain sa mundo, at kahit tubig eh gone na, kakain ka ba ng puto seko o hinde?

SAGOT!

~.~

hahaha! its all trish’s fault. its because of her that i came upon this idea. i brought some special homemade puto seko straight from pampanga with me to work and when i was offering her one, she declined. and so i began to ask her that stupid question. but i deemed it so funny that i decided that hey, it deserves a space in my blog! nyahahaha!

~.~

for all of you who doesn’t know what a puto seko is, the best way to describe it is this:

its a baked goodie that’s sooo damn sweet and powdery to the maxxxxx that it has the capability to choke you to death if you consume it without any form of liquid at hand.

~.~

wait. where’s your ANSWER???!!! answer NOW NA!!!!!

good ‘ole days

im soooo loving our new shift: 12am to 9am! thank god! now i have, what you
call, a decent schedule. imagine coming to work (this is before) at 2 am and then getting out of the building at 11am or sometimes 12 noon! waaa! i hated that shift!
anyway, im uber-happy with our new shift. period. (note: expect less cursing and ranting due to this miraculous change of schedule).

                                                        ~.~

i just realized recently that im either doing the same thing over and over again OR im craving/scoffing the same food over and over again for the past weeks. i call that, latest-addictions-syndrome. here goes:

1. Nature’s Spring Flavored Water in Grape
2. Zest-O Big 250 in Apple
3. Leche Flan
4. Snickers Chocolate
5. Frenchline Cheese Ensaymada

see? so there’s a large amount of calories intack each food (except for the flavored water), which makes me wonder…am i not supposed to be on a diet? of fuck diet, that’s why there’s that thing they call exercise. yihee. as if jumping up and down and twisting my muscles til they hurt account to a healthy living. hah! on a different note, i think im just trying to convince my self that…that eating chocolates won’t make me fat! ammpf!

                                                       ~.~

FLASH REPORT: i ran through Henry yesterday at SM! good gawd, he’s gained weight again! well, not actually gained weight but gained back his old self. life after 1 semester at san beda law wore him i guess and its good to see him looking better now after 2 years of gruelling study of law and the boring aspects attached to it. and as an addition, we had coffee (well he had coffee, i had iced chocolate shake with cream…rarw) and surprise, suprise! its his treat! wehehe…but its good to see him again. we reminisced our old white and blue days as student journalists…our screaming in the streets during rallies…our videoke days inside the w&b office and of course, the non-stop kalaswaan that made our lives crazier and funnier and harder to accept that we were past that chapter of our lives…god, i missed him and everyone at w&b…*sigh

whiney books

i feel perky today. i did not have any insane callers. good god. i think they decided to give me a life even for just a day. good.

                                                                     ~.~

aside from feeling perky, i feel like a blast also. besides from the fact that today is day 3 of dibdibang pag-eexercise project, i was also succesful in not taking in food that is equivalent to a 1-week meal. good grief. im trying my best.  wringing myself until the last drop of fat would ooze out of my body. discipline. yeah, baby.

                                                                     ~.~

well skipping from one topic to the other, i miss doing something that i haven’t done in months. (note that months is italicized). that is, reading a good book. geebee gave me this pocketbook last sunday he said he bought for me. its one of those heart-wrenching nicolas sparks novels, The Notebook. yihee. i swear my knees went weak and my heart went tumbleweed when he handed me the book. i can’t help it, feeling that way. he knows im tad curious as how the story went since i never had the time to watch the movie. but he remembered. he said he caught a glimpse of the book cover and his world stopped. his mind went on an instant rewind on the day i was whining like a baby because i completely forgot to schedule 2 hours of my busy-busyhan schedule to catch the movie.  he said he wasted no time. he grabbed the book and there it sits now, among my most loved treasures. heaven.

                                                                     ~.~

well aside from The Notebook, i fell in love reading A Walk To Remember. the movie was good enough. but the book squeezed my heart. it was so heartwarming. it rings true emotions. i went chaotic reading it. it drew me to tears. it still sits 1st place in my list of books-that-made-me-a-crybaby. second place goes to Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. third place now goes to The Notebook. its one book that i can read a million times and still feel that pinch in my heart. i hope. im just on my second read.

                                                                     ~.~

nightmare on elm street..err…teneres street, baguio city

everybody’s going gaga over crazy halloween costume parties. our office included. i came in to work at 12am to find out that they’re having a party with a live band and free beer and barbecue at the parking lot. the works. our supervisors are prancing around with their costumes. i repeat, costumes. happy halloween! boo.

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i had a traumatic dream last sunday. that i was huge-fat and that my wedding was cancelled because i can’t fit in my wedding dress. i know, very pathetic…but i can’t help thinking…what if? noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! so with that vivid image still playing in my mind, i woke up monday morning and exhausted myself for 2 hours as i undergo a tedious workout. i felt good ang light-headed afterwards (note: i only had a banana for breakfast). now i wanted to see if my jumping around for 2 hours had an effect on my body. (1) i was sweating like a waterfall, (2) my legs ache like hell, (3) my chest is burning, (4) im running out of breath, (5) im dying. ok, scratch the last one. in short, i know that i did a good job because my body felt like lead. good, vey good. i took a nap after and when i woke up, i felt every inch of my body ache. my muscles are screaming in pain. very good job. but in my delirious desire to shed off some fat, im willing to go through the same routine for the next couple of months. i know it will be one big pain in the ass but its the only way for me to have a brighter future. haha. and to think that ive been planning to do this for the past 2 months but i was just plain old laaazzzyyyyy…i didn’t know only a nightmare could have motivated me to action. teehee. good luck to me and my dream of fitting on that wedding dress.